Top Best Effective Parenting Tips | Ways to be a Good Parent
Growing children is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world. Every parent makes a lot of sacrifices to raise their children but then also has so many questions in their mind like:
Are we giving sufficient and best facilities for our children?
Are we taking care of the diet, and mental health of our children?
Are we lagging in providing something that can affect our child's future?
Are our children happy with us?
and so many questions.
There are no perfect parents, but there are several things you can do that will make you a perfect one. Good parenting is hard work. But if you want to improve your parenting and strengthen your relationship or bond with your child there are ways to do so. Here are effective parenting tips on how to be a better parent. Let's learn how to become a good parent and avoid bad parenting.
Characteristics of a Good Parent:
- A good parent is someone who struggles to make decisions in the best interest of the child.
- A good parent is a real person.
- Good parents always think for their children first and then for themselves.
- What makes a good parent isn’t only defined by their actions, but also by their intentions.
- A good parent Sets high standards for themselves first and then for their children. Because parents serve as important role models for their children.
- A good parent doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect. No child is perfect either.
- Good parents educate their kids about healthy food and involve them in food preparation and meal planning. They make choosing healthy foods fun and cheer their kid’s efforts.
- Good parents are always ready to provide academic support and cultivate good study habits in their kids as early as possible.
- Good parents avoid the trappings of manipulating or satisfying their kids, and they never allow laziness to take root in their kid’s life.
- Good parents intuitively sense their kid’s feelings. They know when their kids are upset, happy, angry, or depressed.
- Good parents respond to their kid's needs directly.
- Good parents tend to be open-minded, flexible, and easy-going. They sort out disagreements smoothly and never engage in shouting.
- Good parents educate their children about:
- healthy structure: -- providing children with consistent routines and schedules.
- Healthy limits: -- controlling destructive or risky behaviors in kids by promoting good judgment.
- Healthy boundaries: -- teaching kids to respect the physical and emotional space between people.
Best Effective Parenting Tips:
1. Hold Kids Being Good:
Don't react negatively with your kids. Criticizing far more often than complimenting will have a bad effect on your Child's mind. How would you feel about a person who treated you with much negative guidance, even if he was well-intentioned?
The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: "You made your bed without being asked" or " You keep your things neat and tidy" or "I was watching you playing with your sister, and you were very patient." These statements will do more to encourage good behavior over the long run of time than repeated scolding. Be generous with rewards. Your hugs, love, time, and compliments can work in positive ways and often reward enough. Soon you will find growing behavior you would like to see.
2. Boost Your Child's Self-Esteem:
Kids start developing their sense of self as babies and they see the whole world through their parents' eyes. Parents' tone of voice, body language, and every expression are absorbed by kids. Parents' words and actions affect the development of self-esteem more than anything else and motivate the child.
Rewarding will make kids feel proud. Let the kids do things independently. It will make them feel capable and strong. In contrast, underestimating comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another child will make them feel worthless.
Avoid making negative statements or use of negative words. It causes damage just as physical storms do. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids be aware that everyone makes mistakes. You are always there with them and always love them even when you don't like their behavior.
3. Set Limits and be Consistent with your Discipline:
Discipline is necessary everywhere. The main goal of discipline is to help kids choose good behaviors and learn self-control. Discipline may test the limits you establish for them or their capability of them.
Making house rules helps kids understand your expectations, behave accordingly, and develop self-control. Some house discipline rules might include: no hitting name-calling or hurtful teasing is allowed, and no TV until homework is done.
A common mistake parents make is failure to follow the discipline rules consistently. You can't discipline kids to talk about mistakes on one day and ignore them the next. Being consistent teaches what you expect.
4. Make Time for Your Kids:
It's quite hard for kids and parents to get together for a meal. But a parent can adjust their time. Parents have to make sacrifices for their own things. Parents can wake up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so that they can eat breakfast with their children. Kids who don't get the attention they want from their parents often misbehave.
You can create a "special night" each week to be together and let your kids help decide how to spend the time. You can look for other ways to connect like put a note or something special in your kid's lunchbox. Make feel your child that he is special to you.
Teens need less undivided attention from their parents than younger kids. Parents should do their best to be available when their teens express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, weddings, and other events with your teen will get you to know more about your child and his or her friends in important ways.
Don't feel guilty if you're a working parent. There are so many little things you can do like do household work, play indoor games, and play cards which kids will remember.
5. Be a Good Role Model for Your Child:
Humans learn by imitation. Humans are programmed to copy other actions, understand them, and incorporate them into our own. Children learn about how to act by observing their parents. Before doing anything in front of your child, think that your child will do the same thing in the future. Be aware that you are being constantly observed by your child. Model the traits you wish to see in your kids like respect, caring, friendliness, honesty, hard work, kindness, patience, and tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behavior with your child. Do things without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Treat your kids in the way you expect other people to treat you.
6. Make Communication with the Child a Priority:
You can't expect your kids to do everything that you want. Kids deserve and want explanations as much as adults. If we don't take time to explain, then kids will think about our values and our motives. Kids will think about whether our motives have any basis. Parents should communicate with their kids explain kids about their motives and allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
Make your expectations clear. If there is any problem, then explain it to your child. Express your feelings and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Don't forget to tell him/her about the consequences of the problem. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as well. Kids who participate in decision-making are more motivated and self-controlled.
7. Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust Your Parenting Style:
Kids' environments have an effect on their behavior. So, you can change your kid's behavior by changing the environment. If you have no time to spend with your child and you find yourself constantly saying "no" to your child, then look for ways to alter your surroundings so that you can spend time with your child. This will cause less frustration to you and your child. As your child changes, you also have to gradually change your parenting style. There are chances that what works with your child now may not work after one or two years.
Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to others for role models. But you should continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline and allow your teen to earn more independence. Grab every available moment to make a connection with your child.
While you may be an expert parent or an experienced parent being flexible is important. It not only makes you a good parent but also sets you apart. Flexibility is so important because every person is different. Every child is different. We all change over time. The disciplinary methods you use on your 4-year-old child may not work on your teen.
8. Show That Your Love Is Unconditional:
When parents love, accept, and show affection to their children even when they make mistakes this is called unconditional love. In other words, it is a form of love with no strings attached or It’s love you offer freely to your children. You simply love your children and want nothing more than their happiness.
As a parent, you are totally responsible for guiding, supporting, motivating, and correcting your kids. But how you express your guidance and how a child receives it makes the difference.
When you have to oppose your child at that time avoid blaming, criticizing, and fault-finding. Because it hurts the self-esteem of your child and can lead to dissatisfaction. Instead, try to support and encourage your kids. Let children know that although they expect better next time then also your love is always there no matter what.
Effective Parenting Techniques:
9. Trust Yourself:
Try to make parenting a manageable job. Concentrate on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying everything at once. When you are tired take time to do things that will make you happy. Concentrating on your own needs doesn't mean that you are selfish. It simply means that you care about your well-being, which is a very important value to model for your children. Do the following things:
- Don't accept disrespect from your child---- Don't allow your child to behave rudely or say hurtful things to you or anyone else. If they do so, then tell them firmly that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect afterward.
- Give yourself a break---- When you are tired from your daily routine then take a break from work and re-energize yourself by doing your favorite things. when you are too tired and don't want to cook it doesn't make you a bad parent.
- Pass along your plan---- You can involve the other caregivers in your child's life like your co-parent, grandparents, babysitter, and daycare teacher to help strengthen the values and the behavior you want to promote in your child.
10. Listen to your children:
Listening to your child is one of the most important things. when you listen to your child you actually help them in building their confidence, independence, and self-esteem. Listening to your children lets them know that they are valued. Listening to your children makes you aware of their emotions, thoughts, hobbies, likes and dislikes, goals, ambitions, future plans, etc. Parents should ask questions to their children and listen to them carefully.
11. Avoid Comparisons and Labels:
Don't compare your child with others because every individual has unique characteristics naturally. Every child is having their own strengths and weaknesses. Nature has given the ability to everyone to fulfill their life. So, don't compare your child with others. Only provide support, love, and motivation to encourage your child without any conditions.
It's important to consider what abilities your child is having. For instance, if your child is naturally shy and quiet, it may be that he/she is not inclined to talk but it is not like that he/she can't talk.
Best Parenting Advice:
12. Let Your Child Make Mistakes:
Mistake helps a child to understand cause and effect thereby avoiding further mistakes. Let your child experience disappointment sometimes instead of shielding him from negative events. A child who makes mistakes and learns from them is emotionally healthier. Mistake makes a child perfect.
This works for older children also i.e., letting children learn from their mistakes helps build resilience. It is essential for raising a capable, confident, and successful adult. However, as children grow and become younger make them aware of their mistakes in proper words without hearing them. Be patient, and understanding, and (most importantly) listen to your children.
13. Ask Questions to the Child:
Listening to your child asking questions is key to good parenting. Because questions motivate conversation. Asking questions helps you gain a better understanding of what is going on inside your child's mind. Questions can also help you understand your child's thoughts and feelings, hobbies, likes and dislikes, future plans, etc.
It's important to ask meaningful questions to get the answers you want and to better understand your child's thoughts. You have to ask open-ended questions like "What do you like/dislike about school" or "What was your favorite part of today?". These questions give longer answers from your child and you will better understand his/her thoughts and feelings.
14. Look Behind the Bad Behavior of the Child:
At some point, your child may break every rule you make. But if you react to each infraction with the same show of disapproval you may not reach an understanding of what prompted the rule-breaking behavior in the first place.
Your child's misbehavior is a direct result of something bad that happened previously. It may be an inability to control their emotions or something else. Your child doesn't cry and have temper outbursts because they are trying to manipulate you, nor are they purposely being bad. Look behind the bad behavior of your child. Find the root cause of the bad behaviors of a child and discuss possible solutions to it.
15. Validate Your Child's Feelings:
You have listened to your child. They have revealed their hopes, dreams, likes, wants, and fears to you. Now you as a parent need to validate their feelings. Validating a child's feelings will create trust between you and your child.
Validating your child's emotions will help your child to learn self-compassion. People with self-compassion can deal more effectively with adversity and setbacks in a healthy way. Validating their feelings also makes them feel heard, seen, and valued. Validating your child's emotions will make a strong bond of love between you and your child.
Effective Parenting Strategies:
16. Encourage Creativity:
In a world full of negative things like "no's", "don't", and "you can't," be the voice of the real one. Let your child run, dance, skip, play, and jump in puddles. Let your child make art on their terms and in their own special way. Let them do everything that they want. At the same time make them aware of what is real, what is wrong. Giving genuine praise will encourage creativity and improve their confidence and self-esteem.
17. Create Your Own Quality Time:
- Encourage family time---- For improving children parents should spend some quality time with their children. Kids with engaged parents do better in school, solve problems more successfully, and face in a better way whatever life throws at them.
- Schedule daily special time---- Let your child decide on an activity where you can spend time together for 15 or 20 minutes with no interruptions. This is the best way for you to maintain a strong bond with your child.
- Play with your children---- Let them choose the activity or game and don't worry about rules. Just go and play with your child and create sweet memories in their mind.
- Make warm memories---- Your children will probably not remember anything that you said to them, but they will remember the family functions, rituals, and game nights that you have done together.
- Read books together every day---- Newborn babies love listening to the sound of their parent's voices. Reading books with your child is a great habit. It will develop reading habits in your child which will help them to become successful in their life.
- Take care of your own needs---- Most of the time parents underestimate their own needs when a child is born. If you ignore your own needs, then it will become a bigger problem afterward. Stressed-out parents are mentally not suitable to take care of their children and they are more prone to fighting. You can ask your parents for help. How parents take care of their children mentally and physically will cause a big difference in their family life and parenting life. If parents fail in making family life mentally and physically healthy then your child has to suffer for that.
18. Don't Forget to Teach Social Skills to Your Children:
- Conversation is an important social skill, but parents generally neglect to teach it. Making conversation with your child improves his/her speaking skills which is very important for their future. Parents should talk with their children and also listen to them carefully. Ask your kid questions like, "What was your favorite part of school today?", "What did you do at the party?" or "Where do you want to go for a picnic?". These questions provide longer answers from your child and this will improve his/her conversation skills.
- Tell your child to always notice the color of a person's eyes. Making eye contact will help an unsure child to become more confident and will help any child to be more self-assured.
- Acknowledge your kid's strong emotions. When your child's downswing is over, ask them, "How did you feel?" and "What do you think about making it better?" Then listen to them. They'll recover from a bad mood more easily if you let them talk it out.
Good Parenting Techniques/Good Parenting Skills:
19. Be a Safe Haven for Your Child:
Let your child know that you will always be there for them by making a response to your child's signals and needs. Always support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for your child so that they can express anything with you explore themselves and return better. Make your child feel that you are always there to support them in any situation. Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better mental health outcomes, emotional regulation development, and social skills development.
20. Do Not Spank, No Matter What:
Spanking can bring about the short-term agreement which sometimes is a much-required relief for the parents. Spanking doesn’t teach the child how to differentiate between right and wrong. It only makes the child fear external consequences. The child then starts to avoid getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking your child is modeling to your child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked or hit is more prone to fighting with other children. The children who are spanked are more likely to become bullies and they use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes. Later in life, they are also more likely to result in misbehavior and oppositional behavior, worse parent-child relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims.
21. Always Remember Your Parenting Goal:
Always ask a question yourself ---What is your goal in raising a child?
If your answer is ---You want your child to be productive, do well in school, enjoy positive relationships with you and others, be respectful, be responsible and independent, be caring and compassionate, and have a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life.
How much time do you spend working towards parenting goals?
If you are like most of the parents, you spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. Don't let survival mode dominate your life. Next time you feel angry or frustrated. Think about the effects of anger and frustration on you or your child. Instead of that find ways to turn every negative experience into a positive learning opportunity for them. Even epic outbursts can be turned into valuable brain-sculpting moments if you focus on teaching your child.
Doing these will help you to keep a healthy perspective about your primary goals in parenting i.e., building a good relationship with your child.
Good Parenting Tips:
22. Avoid Favoritism Between Your Children:
- Schedule equal amounts of time with each of your children. Make sure that each one of them gets special time with you.
- Don't give one child more gifts, affection, or punishments than another. Children will pick up on your partiality very quickly and may grow to resent you.
- As every child has variations in abilities. As a parent, you should pay more attention to a child with poor abilities.
23. Instill a work ethic in your child:
Eventually, your child will have to make the transition to living away from you because of education, job, marriage, etc. This transition will be easier for the child who has some idea of how to do daily work independently. It is absolutely essential to ensure that children should learn how to apply themselves. From grade school to college to the working world, success depends upon how much you can tackle ambitious problems with a sense of the presence of mind. By providing your child with this in the early stages of life, you do them a great service in the long run. As a parent, you have to teach them all basic things when they are with you so that they feel comfortable when they are away from you.
24. Give your child opportunities to succeed:
You can love, encourage, and praise your child but true self-esteem comes from within. To develop self-esteem a child needs to earn their own respect. Parents make their children feel that they're good at certain things like music, sports, academics, theater art, craft, or anything else and that this skill came from within, through talent and practice. To develop those skills in your child you should motivate them with only positive words. Don't compare your children to others but compare them with themselves.
- Try to give your child the opportunity to excel in their talents. If they have a musical talent, purchase a musical instrument for them. If they are good at sports, let them try out for the game whatever they want.
- Every child deserves a chance to be good at something.
- Make your child feel that you are always there to help them and to motivate them. This will automatically make your child confident and successful.
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Successful Parenting Tips from Bhagavad Gita:
25. Bhagavad Gita shloka 62 of chapter 2:
This shloka explains:
Naturally, parents love their children. But when love takes the form of an attachment then the relationship between parent and child suffocates. A mother is in love with her child much before his birth. When a child grows into a teen and gives more importance to his friends than the mother then the mother feels dejected. She tries to pull him towards her which results in suffocation in the relationship between them. Bhagavad Gita says that "you may love your children but without any attachments". It will keep your relationships healthy. Otherwise, the atmosphere at home can often get suffocated.
26. Bhagavad Gita shloka 5 of chapter 6:
This shloka explains:
Research says that the young child's ability to copy the actions of others is a mode of learning. They begin copying the closest caregivers, their parents, in the initial stages of their life. Parenting plays a significant role in children’s behavior formation. Children always observe their parents and copy them. Therefore, parents should always say the right things and be gentle in their behavior.
This can only happen when you absorb good qualities into your mind. If parents have a bad habit of telling lies, kids may pick up this. Your kids are watching you, so it's better to make your mind a friend. This will help you present a good example in front of your kids and result in a happy environment at home.
27. Bhagavad Gita shloka 1-3 of chapter 16:
This shloka explains:
Lord Krishna said: Purification of existence, cultivation of spiritual knowledge, charity, self-control, sacrifice, the study of the Vedas, austerity, and simplicity; nonviolence, truthfulness, freedom from anger; renunciation, tranquility, aversion to mistakes, compassion and freedom from covetousness; gentleness, modesty, and steady determination; vigor, forgiveness, fortitude, cleanliness, freedom from envy and the passion for these saintly virtues, O! son of Bharata, belong to godly men gifted with divine nature.
Parents need to cultivate these human values in their children as a part of their spiritual journey. Parents have to cultivate the above qualities in themselves. Children start reflecting on these virtues and will copy these qualities when they see their parents living them.
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Conclusion:
Every child is different. According to your child's temperament, you can choose many different effective parenting practices. Children with different temperaments react differently to the quality of parenting.
Those who are more influenced by parenting quality will have better outcomes under good parenting but worse outcomes under bad parenting. Those who are less influenced by parenting quality may be fine no matter how their parents treat them.
Parenting challenges you to be a better human being and expand your vision. It also offers you an opportunity to heal your own childhood wounds by being the parent you always wanted when you were a kid.
Parenting is a tough task. But if you behave really with your child then it will be a very easy task. Because a child of any age thinks logically, and he/she has the capability of identifying reality naturally. So be a real one and become a good parent.
Your child is an individual life born with its own capabilities. Don't push your child to grow according to your way. Let them develop themselves. As a parent, you only take care, love, and motivate them.
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